January 2012
7 posts
A lot of dickfarts working out in polo shirts today.
Waiting in glasses…
There is black ice EVERYWHERE!
I hope people who want to criminalize gay sex realize that making it illegal won’t stop them from thinking about dick so much.
December 2011
10 posts
I can’t look at IKEA meatballs without thinking of DJ.
The wind was so bad on the way to work this morning, it actually tore out my jeep window.
So tired. Stayed up most of the night to finish reading The Hunger Games.
I will approve a tuition raise as long as it means thicker toilet paper on campus.
FUCK YOU FRENCH!!!!! Je suis très triste maintenant.
November 2011
9 posts
How many shower heads can one man seriously go through????
Stupid mornings...
I was an inch away from using an expo marker as chap stick.
October 2011
1 post
September 2011
11 posts
Hot girls should not be allowed to work at Walgreens… or I need to come up with something better to say then “Um, yeah, it’s my aunt that has crazy jock itch. Yeah, I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
Photo: Bathroom graffiti is nowhere near as clever as it used to be. http://t.co/ngGjBWEI
Haven’t slept in about 27 hours I think I just sank my French partner with me in the oral exam. Sorry Zoe,… http://t.co/e3LXap7
Some dude left a floater the color of whiteout. I hope he’s okay.
August 2011
8 posts
$5 for a medium ice coffee! Boulder, I hate you sometimes.
I think I just saw a grocery store employee getting fired for calling her supervisor a “damned meanie”.
It's not illegal if it's cooked... Right?
Coming to the realization that the sheer magnitude of the taste of this bacon may lead to a pork-based sexual encounter.
July 2011
9 posts
I’m probably not qualified to be a Catholic priest but getting paid to drink wine and dunk babies under water sounds like a sweet gig. (via Fireland)